How not to get your ass kicked at a visitng stadium

I am ok with LeBron being a Yankees fan. Really, I am. This isn't another hate LeBron post. In fact, I give him credit for at least admitting and standing up for the fact that he is partisan. No Hillary alternating Cubs-Yankees BS here.

I just think he could use a few pointers.

Who are you to judge?, you may ask. Well, I've spent my adult life watching the Indians and other Cleveburg sports teams in visiting stadiums. Living a year in Chicago, five years in Boston and six in New York has taught me to try to not get my ass kicked at a game.

(I only came close once where I led a charge of J-E-T-S! SUCK SUCK SUCK! on a NYC Browns Backers pilgrimage to the Meadowlands. I may have had a few beers.)

My top 10 pointers:

1. DON'T EVER take off your hat or other paraphernalia, no matter how bad the score gets. You only make yourself a magnet for more criticism. Stand proud, take the loss stoically like a good fan should. (LeBron violated this in the 6th inning).
   
2. DO come informed, really know your stuff. The burden of information is 2x for outsiders for stadium cred. e.g. "Yanks may have a tough time with CC. Torre left all the lefty batters in the lineup."
3. DO throw any potential hecklers one compliment for their team. e.g. "I am much more comfortable with Rivera v. Borowski in a 5 game series."
4. DON'T overly cheer for a great play when you are losing. You just become that guy.
   
5. DO applaud great plays for both teams. e.g. "You just gotta tip your hat on that one."
6. DON'T get obliterated. No matter how bad the score is, you will not be able to get drunk enough fast enough on stadium beer to numb a blowout and continue watching. Just leave. I've tried this and I can't reiterate this fact enough.
7. DO smugly gloat when winning. A smiling "aww yeah" head nod and some standing clapping goes a long way.
   
8. DON'T continue to taunt in the tunnel on the way out. The visiting fan hit-and-run is just too easy to execute here.
   
9. DON'T taunt in Philly. While Boston and New York are tough, I find most real fans respectful of what you are trying to do. In the 215, you might not make it out of there alive.
   
10. DON'T taunt in LA. No one cares about sports there. It's just not worth the effort.
    

Enjoy not getting your ass kicked. Your spouse or sig other will thank me later.