I am a little less pretentious than Chuck Klosterman

Legendary rock critic (and one time Ohioan!) ... Chuck Klosterman wrote a noteworthy piece on music in last month's Esquire that I was lucky enough to peruse on a flight from JFK-LAX.

In "Me, On Shuffle" he describes the manner in which he answers the question "What kind of music do you like?" At first blush, he gives a music nerd, Lester Bangs type of response ...

"Music that sounds like the opening fourteen seconds of Humble Pie's 'I Don't Need No Doctor,' as performed live on their 1971 album Performance: Rockin' the Fillmore."

He continues with a similar musical gross anatomy less on of a few of his favorite things. Most of the blogosphere has flamed him for the piece, but not this dude. Na-uh - no way. It was one of the fricking most brilliant pieces that I have read on music.

The 5 of you who read this blog regularly know I love albums, and I am no fan of the single serving, 99 cents a track culture. So why do I condone such a fine analysis of music that minces tracks down to their basic elements?

The answer is because you have to think about music. I owe it to the artists. And frankly, they owe it to me to make something worthwhile listening to.

Why? Basically, I feel blessed by music. That it it is one of the few things in life that truly makes it worth living. To hear people searching for one catchy track that everyone has is, in my view, a blasphemy. And those who make that kind of music, well ... hmmm ... I dont think they are charlatans ... but more like the makers of Yellow Tail. (Go ahead ... crack it open, and I dunno, go watch CSI or something.)

It is a really interesting exercise that was fun to do yourself ... here are a couple things in my "kinds of music I like" repertoire (sorry, no links, I don't have any interns for IGSMTOMM to rip samples.)

• Jeff Buckley's hushing croon on "Hallelujah" ... just the thought of the song gives me goosebumps.
  
• The last 25 seconds of "White Room" where Ginger Baker goes nuts on the drums.
  
• Hearing Jay Z spit ... "Sensitive thugs, y'all need hugs" in "Heart of the City" was a milestone for me that he was going to be something entirely different
  
• The build up to the first 45 seconds of Justice's "D.A.N.C.E"
• The opening 25 seconds of Pharoahe Monch's "Desire" with violin riffs introducing a heavy track, and heavier vocals
• The melodically unfinished, a capella end to Corinne Bailey Rae's "Just Like a Star"
• I mentally sing the the big, bold, brassy chorus to "Take the A Train" almost every I ride the A, as it was the first jazz song that I got to play (well) on my trombone.
  
• Otis Redding's raspy high notes in the last chorus of "That's How My Strong My Love Is"
• The visually stunning opening guitar riff to Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Snow."
• Hearing Billy Corgan repeat "... and she knows" in different inflections in "Rhinoceros"
  
• The "OW!" at the beginning and "We'll kick your asses" at the end of "Get What You Give" by the sadly short-lived New Radicals
• The horn section in "Into the Mystic"
  
• The third verse to Common's "I Used To Love H.E.R."
• Black Thought vociferously skatting on "Essawywhaman"
• Any Maynard Furgeson high note that lasts what I feel is a few asphyxiating days.

Klosterman wasn't able to find a common theme in his picks and I didn't think I could either. Not until I tried to find where I got that CSI line I used above and found my previous post, "Dying a little through your iPod."

That was it. In an odd way, I think I hear all my artists die a little in their performance of these tracks. I swear I did the list and an now am writing this after the fact. I was afraid I would just become some easy PlatinumBlue statistic and some indy record exec could figure me out, but I think that there is hope.

So now my answer is to what kind of music you like is "Music where I hear the artist die a little" ... (all respects to Frank Sinatra who is rumored to have said of Judy Garland, "Every time she sings, she dies a little.")

OK, that's morose, but I think you get where I am coming from. I will work on it, but I hope that also sound a little less pretentious than Chuck Klosterman. Just a a bit.

I'd love to hear some faves of others out there and see if you can make anything hang together.